My Dark Place

I found myself doing the strangest of things just so I was never alone with my thoughts. Somehow, I was either in tears or in denial. My spirit would wake me up in the middle of the night to remind me what silence felt like. How it was not always peaceful. How it could feel like nothingness. This was the one hour a day I gifted myself with the inability to feel. The only time I wasn’t picking up broken pieces or breaking into pieces. Sometimes I would ask God to make this cycle stop; but it’s not easy to hear anything He said over the screaming. I tried to stop screaming, but then I started remembering and that started hurting and I was never strong enough to live in my own silence. It was too dark. This darkness is where my demons hid. They were the only ones who were always honest with me. There’s was not a biblical truth. More like a truth that dragged me to my own personal corner of hell where my fears sat next to me and softly sang their wicked song till I died


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