Trying to unimagine what the end of all this will be. Trying to forget what I thought this would feel like. Trying to accept the now. All that’s left inside me is melancholy. As long as I wrap it in nostalgia, it’s not so bad. Looking back is easy. You see what you want to see and it will always be true. You see what you want to see and break of parts of you. Looking back I see light. Looking back is see darkness. I focus on what makes this moment easier. I focus on what makes looking back harder. I focus on not focusing on the past. This is why I prepackage all my nostalgia in melancholy. It keeps me mindful of the bitter taste of home sweet home. Going back is too easy because I know what I’m going back to. Going back too hard because I know what I’m going back to. I could go full circle and see what the world has for me. Be it love and light; Be it sorrow and death. I could go back and let the four walls that protect me, crash me. Nostalgia presented by melancholy makes this an easy choice.